Last week, after writing several intense and emotional, not to mention long, posts about aging and wrestling with my concept of and beliefs about beauty several interesting things happened. It was that intermessing of events Jung called synchronicity. It was one of those times when you lay something out into the universe and then suddenly you begin to see several interconnecting factors.
First there was the e-mail, a daily quote from Oprah's website, that showed up in my in-box on Thursday:
"It is an understatement to say that self-esteem, the elusive belief in our intrinsic worth and beauty, makes and saves lives. For many, that journey to survival is mapped on the body's surface--and begins as we extend to our most hated features the first tremblings of compassion."--Rebecca Walker
Exactly what I needed to hear after spilling my very raw feelings about my body.
Then Friday I found a note in my box at work. There wasn't a name on it. It says this: "Just wanted to take a minute to wish you a happy birthday!" and it includes this quote:
"Beauty comes as much from the mind as from the eye."--Grey Livingston.
I don't know who left this sweet and thoughtful message for me. It's in pencil and I don't recognize the handwriting. There aren't many people I work with that know I have a blog. That's something I have tried to keep private. Either someone has been reading and knew I needed these words or someone just happened to pick the right words at the right time. Either way it was an affirmation, encouragement that the healing I seek is here and possible.
Finally, while in Barnes and Noble this weekend I spotted the latest issue of Oprah's magazine. I used to subscribe (mainly for the pictures...I love making collages) but I gave it up several years ago when I noticed I wasn't ever reading any of the articles. However I couldn't resist purchasing the June issue because the monthly focus is "a beauty revolution." The basic concept revolves around changing the way you see...not the way you look. I've flipped through the magazine and there appears to be several articles that look pretty good and play right into this year's birthday wish: to change the way I see...not the way I look.
This week I may not blog much. Last week took a lot of energy and I feel like I need to step away...or at least write a few lighthearted posts instead of the long emotional ones of last week. Instead I'm going to spend the time I would give to writing a blog post to reading a few of the articles in the Oprah magazine and visiting your blogs. It's been a couple weeks since I've had a chance to visit and I want you to know I value the stories you share and the comments you leave here. I'm also going to attempt to forge my way through over 6 weeks worth of e-mail. I realized last week I haven't checked my e-mail since some time before ArtFest...that was at the beginning of April...yikes! So if I don't write much this week I'll be back. Instead I'll see you at your blog...or I'll send you an e-mail.
Happy birthday wishes and I pray for continued synchronicity as you seek to move into a more positive space for yourself. xx, JP/deb
Posted by: JP/deb | May 22, 2008 at 07:48 PM
I've just discovered your blog and have been skimming the recent posts. I don't have time to write more just now, but wanted to tell you how brave you are to let all of these feelings out and, especially, to share them with us. I, too, used to believe it was shallow and wrong to care about how I looked, but it isn't, it really isn't. Love, don't hate, the body you have--if you hate another person, it means you wish them nothing but ill. But how differently we feel about those we love--we'll do everything we can to help, for as long as it takes, we support and nurture. If you hate your thighs or a flabby belly, you'd just like them to shrivel up and go away, hating them doesn't help you to eat better, exercise, take long walks. But loving the whole body is like saying, I'll take good care of you, I'll do the best I can for you.
Posted by: Kay | May 22, 2008 at 10:39 AM
hey sweetness...
when is the birthday by the way?
it hasn't passed yet, has it?
and i am happy to read this post,
to see that you are finding things
that are making sense to you right now,
that are speaking to you...
you are amazing...
as a writer, a mom, a photographer
and i'm sure in many more ways...
definitely as a blog friend.
:)
heart you,
:)
Posted by: gkgirl | May 22, 2008 at 05:26 AM
Changing the way you see...that is a lesson we can all learn in all kinds of areas of our lives. I am having a similar experience of synchronicity, where a question I am exploring is being fed by a specific situation in my life right now. I'm not sure which came first - the situation or the question - anymore, but I love being able to put my questions and ideas into practice, even though it is challenging.
Posted by: Swirly | May 21, 2008 at 07:45 PM
Understanding completely where you're coming from... your posts over the past week have been really insightful. Believing and valuing myself is something that I'm constantly working on too. Thank you for sharing!
Posted by: Carol | May 21, 2008 at 12:25 PM
i just wrote a post about synchronicity today and yours is the second blog i've been to since that has a post about just that topic.
i think when synchronicity starts popping up everywhere, it signals that we're on the right path. :-)
Posted by: leah | May 20, 2008 at 09:54 PM
I love this "change the way I see instead of the way I look"! This is so simple but mind blowing at the same time!! I'll have to work on that myself. Here is what I see though: You are have a soft open heart, an incredible eye for beauty and you are truly gifted with words. What else do you need? Cuz with those qualities you can get/ be anything!! :) And now I'm waiting for your visit! Miss ya xo
Posted by: Alex | May 20, 2008 at 12:53 PM
I love this "change the way I see instead of the way I look"! This is so simple but mind blowing at the same time!! I'll have to work on that myself. Here is what I see though: You are have a soft open heart, an incredible eye for beauty and you are truly gifted with words. What else do you need? Cuz with those qualities you can get/ be anything!! :) And now I'm waiting for your visit! Miss ya xo
Posted by: Alex | May 20, 2008 at 12:52 PM