One night last week we were all in the kitchen and T said to the B-Dog, "Tell mom what you told me in the car today." The B-Dog came up to me all proud and confident and said, "R-e-d, red. O-r-a-n-g-e, orange." Who know my child could spell red and orange? It was a very exciting moment with lots of cheering and hugging and jumping up and down. In the life of a four-year-old these little things really are big things.
It's a weird feeling realizing your child knows something, like how to spell red and orange, and you didn't teach it to him, someone else did. You come face to face with the fact that you can't be there for everything, that you can't do everything, that you have to let go and trust, that there's all these pieces of you child's life you won't be a part of, that they are their own person and they will only continue to build their individuality and differentiate from you. It also makes you aware of all the influences surrounding your child and that is both exciting and scary. It truly does take a village to raise a child and as a parent you feel grateful for those who enter your child's life and teach/show them amazing, loving, confidence building, intellect building things...and you worry about those who will enter your child's life and teach them about shame and prejudice and hate and fear, etc. When your child is standing in front of you showing you how much they are growing and who they are becoming you feel like celebrating but you also feel the ache of loss. There's a part of you that wants to hold on...and there's a part of you that knows you can't, that knows holding on wouldn't benefit either one of you. It's a bit of a sobering moment to say the least. But, while you can, you still crawl into their bed at night and hold them tightly because although you don't want to hold on you do want to savor as much as possible.
This week the B-Dog's school had their annual Open House. We were able to see some of the things he's learning and he gave us a pretty extensive tour of his classroom. We even joined the PTA. Can you believe that? How did that happen? I remember when I was the child and my parents were attending PTA meetings. Next week we'll have our first parent/teacher conference. And I have to be honest, I'm a little nervous. I guess there's this little nagging fear that while there we'll find out somethings either wrong with our parenting or wrong with our child. I know that isn't very likely but still... You have to keep in mind all of this is new to us. Those first times are always a little never wracking.
So now that I'm an official card carrying member of the PTA I guess that makes me a grown up, huh?
Oh I can feel this pain, you are happy for them, but you feel there is so much you'd have liked to give them, and suddenly they're all grown up and you wonder what part is yours in their life...Still three cheers for red and orange!
Posted by: Irene | October 22, 2007 at 02:46 PM
YAY Britton!! What a clever boy! What a clever Mommy!!
You two are going to go far!!!
love you!
Posted by: megg | October 22, 2007 at 12:58 PM
These transitions we experience as our children grow are truly defining ... yes, you're a grown up, but you (and all of us!) still have growing up to do! xx, JP/deb
Posted by: JanePoe (aka Deborah) | October 22, 2007 at 11:49 AM
For me, it is just mind boggling how quickly time is flying with my girl. Her two front teeth are wiggling.. and she's so full of questions..
It's all very exciting, but sometimes I wish time would stand still for a moment or two.
Posted by: bella | October 22, 2007 at 06:52 AM
Ahhh Trey just started a pre pre school last week and I am experinecing many of these things.
Love you and miss you like MAD!!!!
Posted by: colorsonmymind | October 22, 2007 at 04:34 AM
tagging you to share your dreams! hope you'll play!
Posted by: pink sky | October 21, 2007 at 07:48 PM
sigh. it's so tough, the letting go. with my daughter closer to seven than six, i'm so aware of how quickly she's growing up. xoxo
Posted by: kristen | October 21, 2007 at 05:40 PM
Wow, "orange" is a hard one to spell for a beginner too - it's such an odd word. Yay for B-Dog!
Posted by: DebR | October 21, 2007 at 01:33 PM
I remember when my little girl came home from pre-school all excited because she could say her abc's. Turned out she could only hum the tune.
We all cheered for her anyway! :)
Victoria
Posted by: Victoria | October 21, 2007 at 06:19 AM
yay for little b!
and i don't think that
concern/worry
every fully goes away...
every time we go for a
parent/teacher interview
i worry a bit...
Posted by: gkgirl | October 21, 2007 at 05:33 AM
yay for little b!
and i don't think that
concern/worry
every fully goes away...
every time we go for a
parent/teacher interview
i worry a bit...
Posted by: gkgirl | October 21, 2007 at 05:33 AM