SPC {Food-Eat, Pray, Love}

This is kind of along the lines of this month's self portrait challenge theme (food) so I'm going to go with it...

It's been a little over a year since I closed the cover of Elizabeth Gilbert's amazing book Eat, Pray, Love.  Like many other women who've read her book I can say that in small ways this book did change my life.  It's one of those books I learned a great deal from.  It's one of those books that opened my heart to my own life.  It's one of those books that took me forever to get through because I was only ready for it in little bits and pieces.  Like many of you I was excited to see that Ms. Gilbert would be sharing her story on Oprah.  Although the episode aired several weeks ago I was only able to watch it this past Friday.  My best girlfriend tivoed it for the two of us and we made a date of it.  And of course we started our evening off in the very same way Ms. Gilbert began her year long journey into herself--by eating.  You gotta love any place that has a basket full of fortune cookies just begging you to dive into them...and to have as many as you want, not like other oriental food establishments that only give you one per person with the ticket at the end of the meal.  We helped ourselves to a pre-Oprah fortune cookie and a post-Oprah fortune cookie fully believing the messages we received inside our delicious little sugar cookie pockets of hope were the exact messages we were meant to receive...that's what you have to do with fortune cookies.  You have to believe you're getting the one you need for that very moment in time.

I'm not sure exactly how long it took us to watch the full episode of Oprah because we had to pause and rewind and pause and rewind and pause and rewind, a glass of wine in one hand, a pen in the other, and our journals in our laps studiously taking notes of the things Elizabeth said that touched our hearts.  Because it's been so long since I read her book it was nice to get this refresher course.  It was nice to be reminded of the importance of taking our spiritual journey and that it doesn't matter what that journey looks like it's only important that we take it.  We all won't travel to Italy, India, and Indonesia.  That was Elizabeth Gilbert's spiritual journey.  We have to take our own and it won't look like hers...but that doesn't mean God loves us any less than her.  Each of us will begin our journey from the place we are.  For Ms. Gilbert it was her bathroom floor early one November morning.  For me and for you that starting point will be different.  No one's journey is supposed to look the same.  They are supposed to be as unique and individualized as we are.    It doesn't have to be glamorous.  It doesn't have to end up published in a book.  It doesn't have to wind up on Oprah.  It doesn't have to include leaving your spouse.  It just has to be asking and seeking and being open.  It just has to be a journey into the self and a journey into God.

Before heading home for the evening I found myself sitting in my car in the dark at a park a few blocks from my home.  It's hard to absorb all that information and not feel a little emotional about it.  It's hard to do all that reflection and not need time to sit alone in stillness and toss it around a bit...or cry a little if that's what you need to do.  It's hard not to go somewhere alone and hold that hunger for a fuller life in your heart until you think you can go out into the world and live it.  And for me it's hard not to pour it out in words, making sure I get them all down before I loose them to time and activity.  I'm discovering the car is a really great makeshift sanctuary.  If you're needing one you might give it a try. 

At the end of the episode Ms. Gilbert did suggest three daily activities to get you started on your own spiritual journey:

1. keep a journal and every morning ask yourself what you really, really want
2. everyday record your happiest moment of the day
3. refine your mantra because what you're saying to yourself over and over again everyday has power

I begin these three practices even before viewing the Oprah episode.  I read about the suggestions on Oprah's website and was too excited to wait.  I have to say that all three of these practices can really shift your life.  When you sit down in quietness and stillness to ask yourself what you really, really want, when you get past the surface stuff, when you weed through the bullshit, you can discover some interesting things about yourself, some things you may have secretly know but weren't really paying attention too.  If you can get down to that deep place of want and listen to what you're really needing you just might find compassion for yourself and direction for your life.  When you end your day by narrowing in on your happiest moment of the day, even if it's very slight and seems unimportant, do you know what can happen?  You just might discover that damn it, you really are happy, you really have some good things going on in your life.  It makes you start to pay attention to what brings you joy and it helps you see life in a different light.  And when you consciously begin to shift the tape that runs constantly in your head to one of love and encouragement and compassion you just might move into a new place of being, you just might shift entire relationships, you just might begin giving yourself a little more grace.

   

Comments

[mortgage loans]

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[MosleyBertie]

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[daisies]

i heart those three activities and am going to start doing them this week :) i don't have cable anymore so i missed the oprah but am happy to read about it here ...

i was also surprised by the LCs comment as I know that it is much easier to let go of our selfishness and reach out and help others when we are in a place of strength and peace and when we get down to what we really want, it has little to do with material things and more to do with connections and love ...

this post makes me want to re-read EPL :)

xox

[colorsonmymind]

hmmmm I was a bit surprised by Lc's comment-more so that it was a statement instead of questions.

You know when you are on the airplane and they tell you if the cavin loses pressure to be sure to put your oxygen mask on yourself first-then to help others.

Having help from those who are in a place to give is the best gift ever.

The thing is for most people material things are not what really makes them happy. I think we are impatient as a society and as individuals and rarely will someone take the time to be grateful and happy without it spilling over to others.

Love you

[Franca Bollo]

I was just passing through and LC's comments caught my eye regarding what is considered selfish. Full disclosure: I barely read this post, I've never heard of Elizabeth Gilbert nor have I ever watched Oprah. That said, I think it's basic knowledge -- at least in Franca Bollo's world -- that unless you take care of yourself first, on every level, you are not really in the position to help/support others. A self-actualized person is a grounded person and until you've grounded yourself, you can't move outward in a truly meaningful way. Just try physically picking someone else up when you're not balanced. Chances are you both fall over. I did like the three activities listed. Might try them.

[ceanandjen]

The aftermath that you describe here...is EXACTLY how I reacted after watching Crazy Sexy Cancer last night...not because my story is the same as Kris Carr's...but because of the emotion that welled up, the lessons embraced...I SO get this. I sat a my desk and cryed a bit, I wandered around the house..I sat at my desk again and let the words spill out in the journal and then again in a post. I cried a bit more. I paused. I walked around again. I paused again.

I so wish that I could have seen Elizabeth Gilberte on Oprah, for I am quite sure the reaction would be the same.

All that you describe here is the key to opening up, and to realizing the good. I am so glad that you were able to watch this and to absorb it...and to share your insights with us.

xoxo

[miriam]

I haven't read the book. But, you make me want to by reading this post.

[liz elayne]

yes yes yes! to all of it my friend. taking time to nourish ourselves is how we find our way to supporting and nourishing others. michelle - bravo to you and what you say in this post and in the comments here.

to anyone else reading this - if you haven't read the book, you should. now. i have a friend who didn't want to "read a bestseller" who is now reading it and is having her heart opened a bit wider...

[jessabean]

Hi, new reader here. Just wanted to say this post was so wonderful and really struck a chord in my heart. I hope you don't mind that I mentioned it in my blog!

[megg]

AMEN sista! Everything you said in your post and in your other comment. I will just add this quote:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
- Howard Thurman

[pink sky]

this post really resonated with me, as did elizabeth gilbert's book. now i need to go find that oprah episode and saok all of the in too...and to LC, if she just read the book she would completely understand... liberation from fear, yes. thanks for this messege.

[Heather]

I loved the book and also was so excited to see her on Oprah. I started writing what I really really want everyday. It is interesting and challenging for me to be honest with myself. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[DebR]

I resisted reading that book for so long because of all the hype surrounding it, but once I finally read it, I loved it so much that I gave a copy to my best friend for her birthday.

About LC's comment and your response - I'd add one more thing. I don't think asking "what makes me happy?...what do I really want?", if done in the spirit in which it's suggested in the book, is *selfish* so much as it is *self-aware*. So many of us just sort of drift through life, rarely dipping below the surface, and this is a lot of what I think Ms. Gilbert is saying we should do - dig in and figure out who we really are and what we really want to accomplish in life in various areas. I DO care about others - I think everyone reading and commenting here does - but I also believe that it doesn't serve any purpose for me to be miserable and directionless. That only makes the world a darker place. People who are truly content and at peace with themselves are putting good energy into the world and are more likely to be in a place (emotionally, mentally, and financially) to be able and willing to help others than someone who is miserable and scraping through life on the edge. My opinion, FWIW.

[melanie]

love that book, and i love fortune cookies!

[la vie en rose]

lc--

normally I don't respond to comments but I really felt I needed to respond to yours because I think you totally misunderstood this post and missed my point...and there's nothing worse than feeling misunderstood...

this post was about the importance of taking your spiritual journey (and not comparing it to elizabeth gilbert's because hers was pretty radical). to me that means remembering what it means to stay connected to the divine source of love that is within us and around us...it's about remembering that we ARE love...and that we are loved by the divine because we can't separate ourselves from the divine...and its from that source of love and power that we are able to change the world and do good for our fellow humans, for our earth, for the people we come into contact with everyday...it's because we take time to daily connect to that source that we get past selfishness to love

there's nothing wrong with knowing what makes you truly happy and what you really, really want...if you are empty you have nothing to give the world or your family or the friends in your life...you have to know how to keep your body, mind, and spirit nourished

as i mentioned in the post asking yourself what you really, really want is about getting past the surface level stuff (i.e. i want a new car) and the bullshit this society heaps on us (i.e. i want to look like kate moss) to the core of who we are and what we have to give to the world through our uniqueness...it's about acknowledging what we need so we CAN show up in this world

writing down your happiest moment of the day is very similar to writing down what you're grateful for...it's about recognizing your blessings...we tend to be so wrapped up in comparing ourselves to others and dwelling on what we don't have that we overlook what we do have...last night i wrote that my happiest moment of the day was when i took 5 minutes out of my morning to breathe and pray for my family...that made me really happy becasue it shifted me into a place of gratitude and blessing

as for refining your mantra...that's about making sure the messages you're telling yourself are nourishing and not degrading...if your mantra is 'i'm a loser, i suck, i hate my life. i'll never be happy because i'm not kate moss.' that does absolutely no good for anyone...you can not give when you are stuck in that kind of self-degrading place

all of this reminds me of the very popular quote by marianne williamson (an incredible minister)...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who are we to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous.

Actually, who are we not to be.

YOUR PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel small around you. We were born to manifest the glory that is within us. It is not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

this post was about taking that journey into God, into love, it was about showing up so you can benefit the world...it was about owning what you need so you won't play small...it was about recognizing your blessings

are we a selfish society? absolutely. i'm not disagreeing with you...but i'm missing how building a relationship with the divine (which dwells inside of you so you better get to know yourself) contributes to selfishness...this was about getting out of a place where you're small, ineffective, and miserable and into a place where you are better able to manifest the divine and minister to the world...

[jenica]

i heart you.

[bella]

I'm reading the book right now. I feel like I'm at a perfect place to be hearing her story right now.

[Jennifer]

What a fabulous post. I adore that book and just passed it along to my mom to read. I also watched the Oprah episode and wish I had tivo, because I was not able to scribble things down fast enough. :) Thank you for sharing this with us, and reminding me that being on a spiritual journey is acceptable in todays society.

[gkgirl]

i have not read the book
but i am moved by your excitement
about it...
it's contagious.
:)

and i am thinking i might do
the journaling for the month
of november, (if not longer) :)

also wanted to say,
how great it is that you have
female friends that share
this with you...
i have close friends from way back
that i love dearly
but i always feel i hold back
in any regard that involves
journaling, writing, gratitude,
etc because that is not who
they know me as...

they know me as sarcastic,
cynical, deadpan and dark...
sigh.

good thing for blog-friends
:)

[gkgirl]

i have not read the book
but i am moved by your excitement
about it...
it's contagious.
:)

and i am thinking i might do
the journaling for the month
of november, (if not longer) :)

also wanted to say,
how great it is that you have
female friends that share
this with you...
i have close friends from way back
that i love dearly
but i always feel i hold back
in any regard that involves
journaling, writing, gratitude,
etc because that is not who
they know me as...

they know me as sarcastic,
cynical, deadpan and dark...
sigh.

good thing for blog-friends
:)

[kristen]

thank you for this Michelle. I forgot much of what EG said in her book and you're reminder of her daily practice is perfect timing for me.

i'm going to take the road trip to her shop in NJ - it's not that far for me and i want to be in her presence.

[deirdre]

I guess I'm not the last person on earth to read this book. I just started it a week or so ago (it's taking me a while too) and not only do I love what the author is saying, but her writing is delicious.

The heart of the book is still many pages ahead, so I can't say I've learned anything yet, although this is what I know about life: If you don't have a good sense about what makes you happy, not just in the moment but deeply content and calm, you'll never have anything to give to another person. Keeping your soul fed and connected to whatever divinity might exist gives one the ability to see and feel and love more deeply.

I'm sorry to have missed Elizabeth Gilbert on Oprah - I was still putting off reading the book.

[Lucky Candice]

I haven't read the book, so take this comment as you will. It all sounds a bit selfish. What makes ME happy? What about the people around me? What about helping others and the world? My happiest moment? What about being at peace because I'm doing what's right for myself and for others. Everything we have in this life is given to us so that we can help somebody else along the path. I truly beleive that. Our society is wayyyyy wayyyy too selfish. Too self centered. It's a "what about me and my happiness" generation. I say you're really missing a HUGE part of the picture if you're not branching out just a little further. Asking questions like, what am I holding back and why? What can I do for someone else today - to make THEIR burden lighter?

Sounds like a high horse, sorry about that.

LC