We Have Entered a New Era

Yep, we have entered a new era: the field trip era. 

The B-Dog went on his very first field trip today.  Yesterday he was moved into a class of older children which means he is now able to participate in the weekly outings.  When the teacher told me about this change and how wonderful and fantastic it would be I was smiling on the outside but I must admit, on the inside I was in total panic--what if they leave him somewhere? what if they have a wreck? what if he gets lost? what if they forget him in the bus and he dies from the heat?  what if he gets hurt?--all things that tragically have happened to other children and could possibly happen to mine.  All stories that break my mama heart.  And although these very same things are just as likely to happen while he's with me it's different to consider them happening when I'm not there. 

So I had a day and a half to sit with these fears, to mull them over and console myself, and then it was time for the big event.  Of course not before there was a small dilemma about the bus riding aspect of the trip.  When the B-Dog found out he would be riding a bus to the park he insisted he was not going to ride it, he would just walk.  T took him to school a little early so they could check out the vehicle and get the B-Dog familiarized with it before they loaded up in it later in the day.  I thought this might reduce the likelihood that he would plant his feet into the ground and refuse to budge therefore being left behind with a younger class. 

As is usually the case the day was a huge hit with absolutely no problems whatsoever.  When I arrived to pick the B-Dog up at the end of the day he greeted me with wide eyes and a huge smile...and of course he relayed the entire day's events, every last detail, on the car ride home.  But mama's worry.  We can't help it.  That's just what we do.  The first time our child experiences something new, even if it is fun and fantastic, is a little nerve wracking.  All change, even good change, is a little frightening.  All the what ifs enter your mind and although you know more than likely everything will turn out just fine and this is simply a part of the way life is always growing and changing you can't help but realize there is a slim possibility that the worst might happen.  So you sit in it...for at least a day and a half...and then you let go of it...and you smile...and you walk into the new era as bravely as you can...and later you sigh and wonder why you were so freaked out to begin with.

Comments

[Rebecca Geach]

So so true Michelle.
Change can be hard... even when ulimately good, doesnt always feel that way until after the dust settles.
Great photo too sweets.
Bx

[Amy]

I loved this since I accompanied my 2.5 year-old on his first Montessori school outing to the Kansas City Zoo this past Tuesday. I had all the same fears and I went along!!!! I always enjoy your posts but the ones regarding your journey as a mom are my favorites. Keep writing, living and photographing...you are amazing!

[kristen]

Taken straight from my brain girlfriend! Miss A started camp this week and she is on a school bus 4x a day, 5 days a week. Bussed to a reservation for her nature camp (ticks, dehydration) and that's just once she gets there. Today they went to some lake which means highway driving and lake swimming....oh my.

She loves being on the bus, loves being the big girl and I fret my days away, instead of using the time to be crafty and productive. Sigh.

[Delia]

This is a post I could surely relate to...last year, Petunia had a field trip to the national seashore and was gone for two NIGHTS. I was incredibly nervous until she was back home again, but of course I didn't tell her that!
Love,
D.

[kelly]

b-dog is getting so big. see he is big enough for field trips!

its funny, i don't worry about this stuff. never have. cheri' is in london, and i don't worry at all. people think i am crazy!

happy thursday!

[wishstudio]

being a mama is a lifelong lesson in letting go...(((sigh))). i can so relate to this, swallowing down those lumps of apprehension like bad medicine. but the smiles on the other end...so worth it! be proud of yourself and your little one - another successful launch!

[Lee]

Far, far too cute.

[Beth]

Oh, I wish I was there to give you a hug and to tell you that this is just the beginning of a new chapter for all of you.
Just like a book, you'll want to keep turning the pages to see what's next...even if it's gonna make your heart skip a few beats.
(Hang in there.....before you know it he'll have his drivers license and then we can really talk !!!!)

[daisies]

what a beautiful portrait!! :) and yay you for getting through that nervous frightening step that i remember so well and glad he had such a wonderful time ...

my big one was this year when my guy started taking the bus to the new big performing arts school with a bus transfer downtown and even though we did the practice run together, i really was a nervous wreck until the end of the day when he called from the safety of our home :)

[DebR]

I can't believe how grown up he's looking in photos lately. Sigh...

I think anyone would worry in your shoes, but I'm glad the day was a success and B-Dog had fun!

[hel]

One of my friends drove for four hours behind a bus carrying her child to his first field trip :)

At the danger of repeating myself - great photo. The yellow and the way he is angled across the image and the red around the message and everything.

[amy]

aw, so fun and scary at the same time! how exciting for you both.

xo
a

[Victoria]

It's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and this is to trust complete strangers with my child. Whether they be a bus driver or another child's parent, or whoever!
It's like, "there goes my heart, my soul, my entire life on a bus, driven by somebody I've never met".
We have to trust. We've no choice but to take a deep breath and have faith.
There is a litany that is prayed to Our Lady, and it refers to her as Mother of Risk.
As a mom, I relate to this!
Life is risky.
I really think 99% of people are good hearted and mean well.
So........we got that going for us!
Peace,
Victoria

[susannah]

aw, bless him - i love this photo. he is so grown up now! i think you both were very brave to bring the new stuff into your lives :-) love you xo

[JanePoe (aka Deborah)]

"All change, even good change, is a little frightening." So true, dear Michelle, so true.

Glad that B-dog had a great time. He'll do great. Find a way to let him follow his passions and the rest will come. xx, JP