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ruby

oh, michelle, my heart aches to read this, but please know that i have been in a similar place...thank you for giving words to it. thinking of you...

Steph

I am in tears, Michelle. I can't believe how you've penned the exact phenomenon I share with you, repeatedly, as often as each month (although in my case, I think it can also be spurred my my own irrational mind). My husband tells me I used to be more frequent with these spells, but I think they manage to go under the radar, sometimes beneath the pounding of little feet on the wood floors, the tossing of legos, the fighting over chairs at the dinner table.

So many--no, all of what you said--resonates so deeply with me. One sentence in particular:

"I ache because the affection I once enjoyed has been lost to adult responsibilities"

That sentence makes me so heavy with guilt and sadness. It is the face of my eldest son, standing beside me at the kitchen sink, asking me to come draw with him. It is his imploring look that is met with my bitter, frustrated impatience. "Who will do the dishes? Who will clean the table? Who will make dinner?" It is the voice of someone I don't even know, yet it's the voice within me that's shouting the loudest?
Not the "I'd love to, sweetie, after dinner" voice? Where's the love?

I dont even know you, but we know each other so well. I'm so sorry that you suffer like this.
I applaud the way you contribute these feelings to others, like me, who may feel so alone in this struggle.

((hugs))
*s

amy

michelle, my heart aches for you. i'm so sorry that you are feeling this way, that your heart hurts. know this: you are beautiful, you are working hard, you are incredible, you inspire so many of us because you have the guts to share this. you are heard, and believe me, i am cheering you on all the way. sending you peace, love and affirmation...

Delia

I have been there--yes, I know what you mean. When it comes on for me, I've been telling myself, "It's just a bad day...not a bad life," and somehow that eases a bit of the sting. I'm pulling for you!
Love,
D.

Skyzi

I could have written that myself....frightening. Trying to figure out who you really are is exhausting. Wish I had the answers.

kelly

michelle....you have made such a difference in my life. i am so sad to read your words, but they ring so true for me to. you are a joy in my daily life and you are beautiful. and i know exactly what you are saying.....here is a BIGFATHUG!

kristen

i mirror your words here and i love you for putting your voice behind them. thank you. xoxo

Star

I know that feeling of time passing me by, wishing I felt more purpose in my life. It's like trying to separate an egg by allowing the whites to slip through your fingers only to have the yolk break and be gone as well. You can grab for it, but there is no getting it back and the more you reach for it, the more empty your fingers feel.

Those times leave me feeling like I'm ungrateful, like I don't fully value all that I am so lucky to have.

No answers here, just another soul linking arms with you in an effort to support one another.

And, can I tell you? You're beautiful.

Angie

Oh my...you put into words exactly how I have been feeling lately. Thank you for sharing, it's a comfort.

angela

wow, guess i'm not alone in feeling these very same things. more often i am finding this, and it is a bit of comfort.
you are the voice of many.

Alissa

Wow. Reading your post and the comments that followed make me feel so much less alone. I thought it was just me. I thought if I said it aloud people wouldn't understand - which I'm still not sure they would. I connect with all that you said. How to reach out to the people who get it? How to explain it to those who don't? How do we handle it? There must be a way. I just don't know what it is. I wasn't always this way. Just in the last 4 years or so. Please keep talking. You clearly have an audience with whom your word resonate.

Kirsten Michelle

i feel the weight of my heart as i read this...i know these feelings you speak of all to well...this cyclical ache that i've come to live with...these calls from the darkness that sometimes consume me.
i think it takes someone so special to write so openly, so honestly...i'm not sure i feel better or worse knowing i'm not alone...seeing all of these comments by other women actually makes me feel incredibly sad,
...but i am hopeful that i, that we aren't forever destined to repeat this cycle...that one by one we will break it, each in our own time and in our own way through the sharing of stories and the nurturing of friends.
you are so beautiful, michelle.
thank you for sharing so much of yourself here today, i am sure that it wasn't easy.
xo
k

megg

sweetheart - I don't know what to say except that I hear you and I get you and I understand - I UNDERSTAND from the depths of my heart.

I love you and I think that you are so wonderful and so so beautiful - OH how I wish I could come and see you right now.

LOVE love LOVE!!
xo

Alex

Dear Michelle ~ all i can say is that i am there with you in every word. and i think it's because we feel so deeply and because we're so aware, that we go through that. But your words and honesty filled me up a bit, made me feel less alone... I am very thankful to you for that! You're such a gem! I hope to meet you sometime. Feel better... Love and Hugs~

hel

Were it possible for us to see further than our knowledge reaches, and yet a little way beyond the outworks of our divining, perhaps we would endure our sadness with greater confidence than our joys. For they are the moments when something new has entered into us, something unknown. Rainer, Maria Rilke.

A soul as beautiful as yours will find the key it is searching for. I just know it.

Victoria

If you would like to check out the teachings of Byron Katie, she has a website, thework.com
It really, REALLY helped me to do something that never occured to me; ask myself "is it true?"
It's opened up an entire new world for me, which is, the one I live in: reality/truth!

JanePoe (aka Deborah)

These are the moments when the life we have and the life we want feel like an endless canyon with no bridge in sight ... these are the moments when we realise that we've made a deal with ourselves ... that where we're at is where we need to be, at least for now. It's the unintended consequences of choice ... and somedays it all comes crashing in. But remember, there are other days when we focus on the choice, on why we are in the place or moment we're in, and we embrace that for what it is. For what it is right now.
Sending you much peace & love, JP

Melba

I read this post a few days ago, but I didn't comment because sometimes I find it difficult to articulate what I want to say. I wish I could just beam my thought~feelings into another!

I am on this journey right now of consciously connecting to my inner-being (higer self/soul/internal guidence system...many labels; none that I am comfortable with yet). It sounds so dramatic but it really is life altering for me.

You find it too...something that feels like the road to home. You do.

MB

(o)

Bek Geach

Once again I feel so blessed to be able to read your wisdom.

We as women do know this ‘nothing is wrong but I feel so empty’ phenomenon well.

It is a hard one to tackle... for me it usually occurs just before a major change or rebirthing.

(hugs) and love to you.
I hope your holiday is wonder *filled*
Bx

teresa

Oh I feel for you right now and the next time you feel this way and the next. Perhaps it's a creative being kinda feeling? I know that I have realized that it's OKAY not to be everything...it's OKAY not to be enough. It is. I hope that feeling passes soon b/c it's so critical and you deserve better than that! Everyone does! I also know that when I feel the things you are feeling I sit back and ride the ride and just know in my deepest heart that it's the bottom and there's no where to go but up! I strt to anticipate that and know that something wonderful is about to bust out. Always does! I hope you are back to feeling like your normal self soon. *hug* to you!

colorsonmymind

This post made me cry, tears of sadness that you would ever think you are not enough-you see the list of all the good-no great things you have in your life-are because you are more than enough.

My heart breaks to know you feel so dark-I imagine you tossing in your sleep and all I want to do is sing to you will rocking and stroking your head-not as a momma would but as a dear friend who loves you.

I feel you honey-I can't read your mind and can't list off all your thoughts but I can feel you-when I have looked in those beautiful eyes of yours I felt you and you are a beautiful important creative soul-who writes fucking amazingly I might add.LOL. You can put into writing such strong emotion-it is a huge talent.

I think you should have an editor go through your blog and turn your posts into a book for women on the path to being themselves-their fullest selves.

Hope to hear the phone ringing with a southern drawl on the other end when I say hello.

XOXOXOXO
snuggles and smooches.

eileen

sending light and love, the power of sharing and being seen in our truth is amazing. knowing the impermanence of each of our sensations is a blessing...hoping your on to joy in the mountains at this time.

Kim Cagle

I am frozen.
How did you know?
I know, i know we all have these moments but you captured it so perfectly i am frozen.
Tunnel through...there is light.

christina

I'm feeling that too lately... Hope you have a wonderful time in CO.

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