Celebrating Life's Changes

It's back to school time for many of us with children...or those of us still in school.  While I still have one more year before my child enters the institution we call the educational system we did enroll him in preschool through our local school district and today was his first day at his new school.  Last night he reminded me what it used to be like that night before the first day of school.  At 10:30 when I headed to bed I passed his room and noticed he was lying in bed still wide awake.  This morning he was up at the crack of dawn.  So much excitement paired with so much nervousness.  Driving to his new school this morning you would have thought it was me that was going to a new school.  I probably had just as many butterflies in my stomach as he did...if not more.  All those same things I used to worry about as a kid I worried about again, but this time for him.  Will he find a friend to talk to?  Will he have someone to sit with at lunch?  Will he ask to go to the bathroom if he needs to?  Will he be okay in this new environment without the children he's been with since he started daycare at the age of 4 months?  But you know what?  He did just fine.  And so did I.  I actually made it through the morning without crying.  There was a time or two I felt the tears coming, like when he took my hand as we were walking into the building and when he looked so grown up hanging his new backpack and new lunch box in his locker and when I saw another mother crying, but I made it.   

Several weeks ago while talking about this upcoming transition with B I wanted to be sure he knew he had permission to be a little scared of all of it.  I told him that sometimes when we make changes like this one it can be a little scary.  He gave me a puzzled look and asked, "What's scary about it mom?"  It was then I realized then that sometimes as parents it's more about our fears than their fears.  While I certainly want him to know fear is natural and normal there are times I'm the one who actually invites the fear into the situation.  In this case he didn't even realize this was something that might be scary.  I was the one who was scared about it.

We will now have a new morning routine.  There will be lunches to make in the evenings and posters to make when it's his turn to be star of the week.  There will be holiday vacations to prepare for and new friends to get to know.  And there will be the drop off and pick up schedules to coordinate in as much detail as possible because this happens to be one of my biggest fears.  I was afraid the school wouldn't let me walk B into his classroom every morning to make sure he actually made it to where he belonged.  You see when I was his age my mom dropped me off at preschool one morning and because we were late and I was too embarrassed to walk into the classroom I decided to walk home instead of going to class.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I remember standing at the door, seeing the kids playing and thinking there is no way I was going to walk in and have everyone turn and look at me.  So I walked home.  Isn't it funny the things we're afraid of sometimes.  Fear is definitely an interesting emotion.  I had no fear of walking home alone and waiting by myself for one of my parents to get home from work but I was scared to death of the other kids seeing me walk in late.  My fears for B were relieved today when I found out I would indeed be able to walk him into his class each morning.  I will know he didn't decide to walk home by himself the way I did.

For those of you starting a new school year with your children congratulations and best wishes for a wonderful new year filled with fun events, tons of memories, and lots and lots of learning.  Today I celebrate life's changes with you.

Comments

[Star]

Such cute pictures of the B-dog. You are so right that we often bring the fear in where it has no place. I do the same thing in other situations.

It looks like this is going to be an easy transition and bodes well for kindergarten down the road. Thanks for sharing the day in pictures :)

[bella]

I cannot wait for the changes! Good luck to you & B too!!

[claire]

you were such a brave mama!!
my son is going up to secondary school next week... he looks so adult in his new blazer, collared shirt and tie... i will try and be brave too!

[Toryssa]

Mine is starting Kindergarten on Friday. Kindergarten! All day! He seems so little to me, still.

You're right about US being the ones that are worried. He is absolutely fine with the idea. But me? Pretty freaked out.

[angela]

we're starting school next week. one will be going into 3rd grade and the other preschool.i find myself in disbelief in these last days i have them to myself. time, time, time....
hope you all have a great school year
:)

[wendy]

Wow....I remember it like yesterday....I really am proud of you for your thoughts on fear...you are doing some great mothering. I kinda wrote about the same thing today...but WAAAAY down the road from where you are. You make me feel homesick for the younger days..but one can only go forward.

[Delia]

We had a similar experience yesterday around here as two of my three headed off for another year. It feels like the first time every single time for me! Such sweet photos...
Love,
D.

[Heather]

Wow!! He looks so cute and grown up in that picture, congrats to both of you!!

[gkgirl]

ahhhh...
i so remember my kids
first days of school...
and they had never gone
to kindergarden or daycare
so this was huge for me...
and them...

but this year is a new first
for us as well,
my daughter starts junior high
at a new school...and i think that i am just as scared as i was when she started grade one...and she is just as nonchalant.

congratulations to B on his first day...and to mommy!
:)

[gkgirl]

ahhhh...
i so remember my kids
first days of school...
and they had never gone
to kindergarden or daycare
so this was huge for me...
and them...

but this year is a new first
for us as well,
my daughter starts junior high
at a new school...and i think that i am just as scared as i was when she started grade one...and she is just as nonchalant.

congratulations to B on his first day...and to mommy!
:)

[gracie]

Bittersweet, isn't it?! We love seeing them grow but miss those days of innocent dependence.

[JanePoe (aka Deborah)]

So many of us are blogging about fear right now ... isn't that an interesting thing ... makes me wonder about what is going on in the universe that we're all tapping in to. I love the fact that you made it through this milestone with B ~ reminds me that we're all constantly growing, changing, and transitioning. Isn't that grand? Makes life interesting and wonderful! (And yeah, sometimes a bit scary!)
Much peace & love to you, xx, JP/deb

[ceanandjen]

My Ayden and your B are on the exact same schedule...A started a new preschool in July, and the transition has been a really good one. I think that my fear/anxiety is in the fact that next year he will start "real" school. I am already starting to make preparations, because in order to get him into the school we want to send him to, I actually need to start an ENTIRE YEAR early. Just thinking about that fact that he is getting to that point makes me stomach uneasy. Where has the time gone?

Your photos of B's first day at school are so wonderful. He does indeed look like a little man...and he looks positively happy!

xoxo

[Molly]

Congratulations on the first year! (I am starting my first year in a new school myself, only I'm the teacher, and it's always just as scary!) Big hugs to you in this new transition.

[kristen]

i always love to see first day photos - B is such a big boy now, sigh. my girl starts 1st grade next week - we're winding down now before our schedule changes here too.
my heart broke a little thinking about mini you walking home and waiting. xo

[Jeris]

What a sad thought for you to be walking home by yourself...but I can relate. On one of my first days of school, I was too afraid to enter the lunchroom, so I just stood outside the doors and then was hungry all day. My big brother didn't even help me out. Funny how those moments stick with us.

[Marilyn]

Congrats to the B-Dog on this important step! :) (It's one of the big joys of my job to have the privilege of doing what I can to ease the anxious fears of parents of new students. Truly, a privilege.)

[Jennifer (she said)]

Thanks for the photos and the thoughts. He is getting so big! We finally start school this week, or rather, Jacob starts first grade. I have my own fears about a new room and new people, but we'll see how Jacob feels about it! I hope his week, and yours, went well.

[hel]

And I hope you get all the joy you deserve because of all the love you have.

[Melba]

I know the feelings~ School started today for us.

[wishstudio]

this is exactly what i am struggling with these days...my fears (not necesserily his). thanks for putting these thought into words for me. i needed that reminder! so glad you are joining in on the crazy collage month ~ can't wait to see wht you create. xo

[tongue in cheek]

Wonderful post!
Happy tears!
Happy first day too!!