Grateful Friday--the Flutter of Creative Dreams

Exactly one month ago today I was in Seattle sitting at Letha's dining room table enjoying the company of six of the most beautiful, not to mention super sexy, women in the world.  For the first time I was seeing the faces of some of the women in this blogging community that I've come to know and love.  And I have been recovering ever since...

It's hard to describe the impact that weekend had on me mainly because it still hasn't completely registered in my brain.  Everyday I see the effects that their presence left on my life.  Over the past few weeks I have felt very raw, very tender, very vulnerable.  But there have been other feelings brewing just below the surface of those.  I have also felt very alive, very full, and very connected to myself.  I have seen a difference in my life.  I have seen a difference in the way I see myself.  Returning from a weekend long love fest left me wanting more.  And so I've been taking time to give that kind of love to myself.  I have felt a new confidence.  I have witnessed the unfolding of a growing belief in myself.  I have experienced a shift in perspective.  I was already building the foundation, and had been for some time, but the weekend I shared with these blogging sweeties helped gently push me to a new level.  I wish I could adequately explain the difference I see in myself but it's so much more a feeling than anything tangible.

One of the things we wanted to talk about during our time together was our creative dreams and how we can support each other as we strive towards them.  I'll admit I was a bit intimidated by this topic.  Creative dreams?  What creative dreams?  All the girls seemed to have a dream brewing except me.  We never formally had the opportunity to share our vision with each other but that doesn't mean it didn't have an impact on me.  Just listening to each one of them, their excitement, their hope, their openness, was enough to influence me to search out my own dreams.  It's as if I absorbed by osmosis the desire for a creative vision just by being with them.  And so once I got home I seriously began to consider my creative dreams.  I have them.  I've always had them but more often than not I'm afraid to admit them, even to myself, especially to myself. 

While I was on the quest to unearth my creative dreams other things begin to support my search.  Without my knowing it the universe was sending me little messages of encouragement.  There was Marilyn who suggested I make myself some business cards as a tangible way to put my dream out into the universe.  The business cards would only be for my eyes but that's enough.  Seeing my name and 'title' (photographer, poet, writer, artist) in print has the power to open both the heart and mind, serving as a form of creative visualization.  There was Susan who complimented my photography and when I pushed her compliment away offered very wise advice:  you have to see it to believe it.  And since then I have been making a conscious effort to see it...and what a difference it's making.  There was Sam, the first person to tell me she'd pay good money for one of my prints (and you're getting one for Christmas dear one so if you have a favorite let me know.)  There was my sister who offered me my first paid photo gig.  There was my friend Irma who wants me to photograph her family.  I almost hate to even list names and links because I'm sure to forget someone and hurt someone's feelings.  There have been so many of you offer words of encouragement.  If you were any of the 46 people to leave a comment on my Woo-Hoo post then you had a hand in encouraging me in the direction of my creative dreams.

My weekend in Seattle coupled with all these affirming events that happened when I returned built up inside until I knew it was time to get serious.  And that's exactly what I've been doing the past few weeks.  One evening T and I sat up until 2:00 am talking and brainstorming and dreaming about what direction I'd like to take...and that's just scratching the surface.  As a result of our conversation, and Seattle, and the events that followed, and all of your loving encouragement, I took my first big step.  I purchased a domain name.  I can now build a website where I can watch my creative dreams unfold, a place where I can combine my photography, my writing, and whatever else wants to be born in me.  My vision is growing every day and my goal is to have my site ready to launch by my birthday which is May 17.  Happy Birthday to me!

It's with much excitement that I introduce you to the beginnings of Tangled Wings.  Why the name Tangled Wings?  Because it resonates with where I am in my life right now.  I am a woman who has felt like essential parts of herself have been tied up...for to long.  I am a woman who knows she holds back.  And I am a woman whose wings are tangled--in the past, in fear, in thoughts and beliefs that no longer serve me.  But I am also a woman who is learning to untangle her wings in order that she may begin to learn the nature and essence of flying.    

Today I'm grateful for those first stirrings of the wings of my creative dreams.  Stop on by and take a look.  And if you have any suggestions for this new venture, I'm all ears.  It's still in the brainstorming phase and other perspectives besides my own are always useful.  You may offer a suggestion that I haven't even thought about or realized may be an option. 

And thank you, thank you for the encouragement you have given me along the way.

ps- You can also begin e-mailing me at michelle@tangledwings.com.

Comments

[MB]

Oh. Michelle...tears in my eyes. When I opened this post on my screen my first thought was, "I love this woman's photos." A long time ago I asked you about your photography because to me it shone... it shone. (How did I miss that "woohoo" post, chockfull of gorgeous shots? No matter.) God bless and God speed, woman of beautifully untangling wings.

[deirdre]

I'm grinning from ear to ear. Can you hear me clapping? I'm so proud.

[DebR]

Congrats, Michelle!!

I can't wait to see what you do with your new domain.

[Star]

Congratulations, Michelle! I'm so glad you have taken the next step, made it all real.

I see those tangled wings as those of a butterfly just emerging, waiting to unfold as they dry and blossom into the graceful, soaring beauty that was already there.

Your new home page looks like a welcome place to start.

[ruby]

wonderful news! you are such an inspiration...

[daisies]

oh wow .. yah for you ~ you inspire me on so many levels I can't even begin to describe ... but I can say that I look forward to seeing how it all unfolds and I'm sure it will be a fabulous success because your creativity and talent knows no bounds :)

[joleen]

I am so SO excited for you. I am also very proud of you, inspired + encouraged by you. xo

[Marilyn]

I am so, so, so...okay, SO...proud of you for MAKING THIS LEAP. 'Leap and the net will appear'...I've always thought that phrase was a bit misleading...and unfinished. Yes, if we leap (especially in this magical place called the blogosphere) and FALL, there will be others there to catch and support us. But the joy in leaping lies not just in letting go of the fear of falling...but in the possibility of FLYING. Because we leap not to fall down, but to soar off to great heights. So untangle those wings, Michelle, and LEAP. And I will be one of many standing witness...feeling the wind from your wings flutter across our faces.

P.S. And if Salma were here, she'd give you big, fat ol' kiss...right on the lips. xoxox

[tongue in cheek]

Flight towards the light, I see you going in a good direction, your wings are not tangled they are feathers of multi colors and full!! Fly soar and we will follow!!

[Jamie]

My heart is overflowing for you, as are my eyes with tears. What a powerful step in claiming your self. You are flying.

[megg]

yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, yay, YaY!!!

I can hear that deep grrrooowwwllll coming from deep in your soul - you are going to KICK ASS.

I LOVE YOU!
meg

[JanePoe (aka Deborah)]

BRAVO Michelle!! I cannot wait to see what you do, where you go, how these dreams unfold into reality. I love the name & beginnings of your Tangled Wings site. Just brilliant. I'm happy that you have T to support you in your journey.
Much love & peace, JP

[gkgirl]

oh michelle...
this is awesome!
truly truly awesome!
i am so excited for you,
and the site looks great
already...
i see big things for you,
big happy shiny things
:)

[Melba]

What a great name! I think buying a domain name and setting a goal really helps with keeping focused and working towards achieving that goal.

I have noticed photographers specialize in a particular area; like weddings, family, everyday, and I know a photographer who specializes in same sex marriages. I don't know what the market is like for where you live.

I think you have a great eye, so what ever you choose I think you should also sell prints online. You have an audience and a following here in blog-land...
unfortunately most of us can not hire you to take our picture (it would seriously cut into your overhead of you had to fly to every photoshoot!)

Oh, and of course you can sell your prints at justBe...!

Excited to see your dream blossoming!

[Irene]

congratulations Michelle,
this is absolutely wonderful!!!
yes, beautiful, amazing dreams will unfold, and I feel honored to be able to witness that.

[Sam]

I am just so proud of you, and for you, and just happy to know you! The name is just perfect - I love it - and can't wait to see what will transpire for you there.

The fact that your weekend with your lovelies has given you so much - I just love it. I can't help but wonder if now you feel like you've got sisters working alongside you - you're not so alone in your journey.

Also, oh yummy, a picture for ME? I couldn't possibly choose a favorite, so I will trust your judgement to send me exactly what I need. You are just achingly talented, and I am so happy to see you stretch your glorious wings.

[kim]

that is marvelous!

[nel]

So exciting for you...Tangled Wings, what a beautiful name that says so much. I bought a necklace during the week which has a set of large wings on it...I will send you a photo. Good luck, I know you will do so well. Nel

[kristen]

congratulations dear one. i'm excited for you and i love your new photo.

[boho]

oh my love, i have huge tears in my eyes trinkling down my cheeks.

when we first locked eyes in Seattle i saw all of this happening...and here it is.

you inspire me. your eye for art is so very alluring and attractive. it moves me and i am giddy with excitement about sharing our journey's together.

watch out creative world!!!

i love you.

[amy]

I am tearing up for you right now...so proud of you!!! I so admire your boldness and your bravery in this. And I can't wait to see what will become of your business...I have no doubt that you will soar!

WOO-HOO!!!!!!! So excited!

[nina]

you absolutely freakin' rock. i'm so happy for you. xoxo

[shonacole]

I am so excited for you. Dream big! you have provd yourself creative already, the next seemingly big step will in reality only be a small one.

[Toryssa]

I am so proud of you! You have conquered so much while I've been reading you and it's been documented gorgeously.

[ceanandjen]

Beautiful Michelle, you have any idea how inspiring you are? You are amazing...and that word does not do justice.

This is a tangible step that you have taken, and I am so incredibely happy for you. This is exciting, but it is so much more than that. This represents so many things...oh, a big huge, warm congratulations to you...((((HUGE HUG))))

XOXOXOXO